The long election cycle that brought us to this historic day was observed -- in true
fashion -- with irreverent and sometimes tasteless derision. While one is tempted to entertain lofty and nostalgic daydreams and memories today, resist and indulge yourself in a retrospective of the political year just past, as seen through the slightly-distorted lens of
We're winning in Iraq. The economy is fine. Voluntary restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions will solve the global climate change problem. John McCain is an independent, straight-shooting campaign-finance reformer. You can have the bridge pictured here for your very own for $29.95, but only if you call in the next ten minutes...
The Green Party, having chosen its presidential candidate, examines its prospects for November success.
Based on recent trends within the party, the site committee for the 2012 Republican National Convention decided to consider all options.
Meanwhile, the Ron Paul Revolution rolls on...
"This thing seems to be working -- all of Ron Paul's policy positions are starting to make sense to me."
After visiting If I Ran The Zoo
, a Democratic Ron Paul volunteer attempts suicide
with a box of Krispy Kremes.
"Parachute? What parachute? We're Libertarians -- just relax and enjoy your freedom!"
The Endless Primary Season
Texas has scrapped its primary election in favor of its own version of the Iowa Caucuses.
Originally uploaded by mkeblx.
The Clinton campaign was accused of employing an aggressive and unorthodox get-out-the-vote methodology last week in South Carolina.
Originally uploaded by urwis.
Bill O'Reilly's vehicle, after he got lost and ran off the road trying to crash another NH primary event
John McCain, the NSA, the TSA, and the Division of Homeland Security have all teamed up to bring the "Living In Fear For The Next Hundred Years" roadshow to your town between now and the November election.
Members of the press as they are marched at gunpoint to yet another Hillary Clinton rally.
Meanwhile, right now, somewhere in this great land of ours, a Barack Obama rally is starting...
All that was left for Giuliani's staff to do was to clear out the campaign offices.
Poor Chet. One minute, he's having a civil conversation with his wife about Bosnia, Hillary, and "factcheck.org". Next thing he knows, he's camping in the back yard.
John McCain released the results of his medical exams in order to defuse any criticisms based on his age, but it backfired when this close-up of his left earlobe and the carbon-dating results were leaked to the press.
These Democrats just found out how long it will be before the Pennsylvania primary.
Weeks after calling on supporters of both Democratic candidates to put aside their differences, Democratic National Committee chair Howard Dean appealed to the last holdouts.
A decision, then on to the general...
"Yeah, dude, check it out -- there's a great antiques and collectibles yard sale going on down the block."
"See, Cindy, now that we've sold off all those other houses, there's no reason anymore for Joe Six-Pack not to vote for me."
Republican hears about McCain's beer veto
John McCain came under increasing pressure to disassociate himself with a radical religious leader who had been responsible for such inflammatory and anti-American statements as "Love your enemy", "The last shall be first, and the first last", "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", and "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
The McCain campaign played second banana to the Obama campaign all last week. While Obama spoke to 200,000 enthralled spectators in Berlin, McCain visited a German restaurant in Ohio. While Obama and General Petraeus toured Iraq by helicopter...
The vice presidential candidate of the future will not need a $150,000 wardrobe.
Weeks too late, they finally found McCain's campaign strategy under a back seat in the Straight Talk Express.
Finally...victory! From Grant Park, election night:
"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible..."
"...who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time..."
"...who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."
Originally uploaded by Kealor.
"This is your victory. And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead."
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there."
"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."
"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand."
"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much..."
"...But there is so much more to do...This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace..."
"...to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one..."
"...that while we breathe, we hope..."
"...And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't..."
"...we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: